Week 22: Handfasting with Children

Welcome to week 22 of our "52 traditions/rituals in 52 weeks".

Some time ago we brought you a version of a 'handfasting' (view here) which has been very popular on the blog, so we thought we would follow it up with a fabulous way of including children in this wonderfully meaningful ritual.

Including children in a handfasting:

Celebrant: 'When we think about marriage we immediately visualize the joining of two people. But this is not always so. Marriages unite families and as is the case in many families today, who already have children, they give us a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and embrace some of the other important relationships in our lives.

During a wedding ceremony rings are sometimes exchanged with a promise. As (Bride) and (Groom) are not exchanging rings, but instead binding their hands, they thought appropriate that their children should also take part as a reminder of their promise to them on this day.

They wanted to find a way to let them know now how special and wonderful they are, and how privileged and blessed they feel to be their parents'.

Children step forward and their hands are bound with the parents

Celebrant addresses children:

'(Insert children’s names): These are the hands that will support encourage and protect you through all of life’s ups and downs, happy times, sad times, love and we hope, great joy. This binding is a reminder of the love and respect that each of you have for the others and that which will last for a lifetime'.

The Wedding Gurus x

Horrifying Bridesmaid Dresses

Ok, so we've all been there, excited about being asked to be a bridesmaid and all the fun that comes with that role. And then...........it happens. The bride chooses the ugliest creation you have ever had the displeasure of laying your eyes on and you just know that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

So in the spirit of friendship and solidarity, the true measure of your love and loalty to that special friend, we thought we would explore some of the bridesmaids outfits that have truly displayed the lengths that some true friends will go to in making sure the bride's day is perfect!

Good on you, we say



unknown source



Pic from: my 10 online.com;

Pic from: www.bridalwave.tv;



Pic from: www.stinkypalace.com;



Pic From: www.people.com;

Pic From: www.projectwedding.com

Pic From: blog.shabbyapple.com

Pic From: manolobrides.com

Pic From: zoomers.ning.com

 



Pic from: slightlywarped.com



The Wedding Gurus

xxx



Creative 'Save the Date' Ideas

There are so many fun and unique ways to create a memorable 'save the date' to notify your guests of your big day. It should be something that represents you as a couple whether it be done in a vintage setting to represent personal taste or on a sports field to show a hobby or profession the more personal and creative the better! In order to help get your creative juices flowing we have compiled some of our favourite ideas found on the internet, enjoy!  

Please note: These photographs have been compiled from numerous sources including Facebook posts and other web pages. These photographs are not the property of The Wedding Guru's. If you would like any information on contacting the owner of a particular photograph we would be happy to assist.

The Secret to Marital Bliss

Have you ever wondered what is the secret to a long, loving and fulfilling marriage? (haven't we all)

When couples first walk down the aisle, they are often consumed with the moment giving little thought to anything else, but once the big day is long gone, what is it that really holds people together?

There probably really isn't any one true answer for everyone as we are all different and place value on many varying things within a relationship, but there are some things that we would likely all agree on.

Perhaps honesty, loyalty, love, respect and attraction? Matching outfits? yes matching outfits.

According to this gorgeous couple, matching outfits is the secret to their long and happy 65 year marriage.

Check out this story as told by ninemsn.com.au:

An octogenarian couple have revealed the secret to their 65 years of marital bliss — matching outfits.

Joey Schwanke, 81, and her husband Mel, 86, bought their first custom-made matching outfits in 1976 and have dressed alike ever since.

 

 

They now own 146 bespoke coordinating ensembles and never leave their home in Fremont, Nebraska, in anything else.

 

 

"We don't dare go somewhere without having matching outfits," Mel told KETV. "Every day, every single day, my tie matches her dress."

 

 

Mel and Joey think their matching wardrobes "enhance" their relationship, but admit there's more to a happy marriage than dressing alike.

 

 

"To this day, if he does something for me I thank him," Joey told the Huffington Post.

 

 

"If we run into each other, we say excuse me. We fully respect each other and consider each other with every decision we make."

Marriage & the step parent dilemma

The society in which we live today is filled with wonderful blended families that come in all shapes and sizes.  We're not just talking about couples coming together from different cultural backgrounds, but also couples coming together, each with children of their own. (How could we forget The Brady Bunch - if only it was that easy). So many of the couples I see as a celebrant have families like this.

The joining of two families can be a really wonderful experience, but it would be remiss not to mention the fact that it can also be exceptionally difficult and fraught with potential disasters, particularly when combined with the stress of planning a wedding. Step parenting is never easy and we all know very well that planning a wedding can be overwhelming, even for the calmest of couples, but combining the two can see some couples in total despair.


To any of you who have successfully brought two families together while planning and executing an amazig wedding, we commend you. You truly deserve a round of applause.

BUT, for those of you (and I'm sure there are many) who are currently struggling with a suddenly much larger family, while trying to plan your big day and include children and step children, then we symapthise and are here to help.

In working with many couples in this situation I have put together a few ideas I wanted to share with you that may hopefully help you in finding ways to include children and step children and ease the stress of  any family tension that may be lingering.

I have found that finding ways to include and unite the family on such a public level really helps to strengthen the bond and puts the focus on inclusion and unity rather than exclusion and individuality.

Here are some ideas to help:

1. If the children are old enough allow them to act as junior bridesmaids/groomsmen. Asking them to stand beside you earns them a level of importance and respect that you may find helps them to feel apart of it all.

2. If you are each coming to the marriage with a couple of children it may not be practical to have them as attendant in the ceremony. I once did a ceremony for a couple where they each had 3 children and so they bought each of them a gold letter (the childs first initial) and as part of the ceremony each child was asked to come forward as the step parent placed the necklace on and gave them a kiss. All  the guests were crying and the children were so proud and pleased it was beautiful.

3. Include a unity ritual in your ceremony. A great way of making children feel included is by having a unifying ritual. A sand ceremony is a great example (see our sand ceremony for an example) I perform many sand ceremonies with families which usually requires a vase of coloured sand each different and representing the particular family member, They each then pour their sand into the large vase so the colours layer beautiful and then the vas eis then sealed. The glass can be engraved with the wedidng details or an engraved plaque put on the front. Once on display in the home the significance of the once single colours of sand that can now never be seperated again from the others is a constant reminder of the families bond.

4. If they are not wanting or confident enough to take part in the ceremony then give them a job. Ushering guests, handing out rose petals or bubbles. This will allow them to have a purpose on the day.

We really hope this helps and if you are still stuck feel free to contact us and we will be happy to help with more ideas.

The Wedding Gurus
xxx

Movie Review: The 5 Year Engagement

Picture courtesy of: IMDb

Taking some time out from our usual writing, The Wedding Gurus decided to temporarily break free of the chains that usually bind us to our desks, pick up giant popcorn and massively oversized drinks and head to the movies for some fun, lighthearted entertainment.

Of course we couldn't stray too far from our favourite topic 'weddings', so we spent two fun filled hours eating through all of our goodies and watching 'The Five Year Engagement'.

The film starring Jason Segel (Tom) and Emily Blunt (Violet) sees Tom propose to his girllfriend one year after meeting, but as they begin to make plans one thing after another just seems to get in the way and the wedding looks like it will never take place.

The movie had some funny moments, but also some sad ones and definitely a lot of things that many of us who have been engaged can relate to. Just as the couple did in the movie, so often we become consumed with life and getting everything exactly perfect before doing the things that we really want to that we end up never actually getting around to doing what we set out to.


Perhaps we don't see it (or maybe we do on some subconcious level), but we tell ourselves whatever makes it ok - Once we move house, when we have more money, when we start or leave our job.

THERE IS NEVER A RIGHT OR PERFECT TIME

Through alll of the comical twists and turns in the movie, the tear jerking moments and the 'ah-ha' moments, the overall message is clear: CARPE DIEM - SEIZE THE DAY!

The only time that you have is right now so work with what you have, DIY what you can and just go for it!

Overall we loved the movie especially the ending that we will definitely not ruin for you even though we are dying to make comment on.

We give the movie 4 stars out of 5.

The Wedding Gurus
xxx